Doing Business with Excellence and Ethics

The Meal Can Seal the Deal

by National Etiquette Expert Joy Weaver

"The only thing to leave at any table—dining or boardroom—is a good impression."
—Joy Weaver

Joy Weaver is the renowned etiquette expert and author of "Just Ask Joy...How to Be Socially Savvy in All Situations"—a book highly endorsed by Jean and Zig Ziglar. Joy is a regular guest on ABC's Good Morning Texas and the CBS/11 Early Show. She is nationally published and has been featured on ABC's The View, in the Associated Press, New York Times, USA Today, Dallas Morning News, and The Dallas Business Journal. Protocol Enterprises/Just Ask Joy is based in Dallas and has been serving clients across the country since 2000. Learn more at justaskjoy.com

The meal can seal the deal I always say, and for two important reasons. First because more business deals die in social settings than have ever been lost in the boardroom. And second because 85 percent of business success rides on personal skills and only 15 percent is related to our technical skills.

Today's etiquette commandment, therefore, is to know thy table manners—board room to dining room. And today's table manners/business tips fall into some highly marketable do's and don'ts:

DO...

• Be on time. Tardiness is a major faux pas but for a business meal it’s egregious. If you have an emergency, call immediately to alert the others and give your approximate arrival time.
• Curb your cell phone. Turn your cell phone on manner mode. In other words, leave it off. If you're expecting an important call, inform your dinner mates and, when the call comes, step away to take it privately.
• Sit left, stand right. When possible, you should be seated from the left side of the chair at the table and exit from the chair's right. A properly trained waitperson will also serve your meal to you from your left and pick up from your right.
• Make your napkin the first thing off the table and the last thing on.
• As soon as you're seated, place your napkin in your lap with the folded edge facing you.
• When you excuse yourself from the table with plans to return, the others should not have to look at your crumpled linen. So place your napkin in the chair seat.
• Never place your napkin on the table until you are leaving, and then place it to the left of your plate.
• Consult the waiter. Feel free to ask the waiter for recommendations from the menu.
• Wait to eat. If you are eating at a buffet, wait for at least one or two people to return to the table before you begin to eat. When ordering from the menu, wait until everyone is served before you start eating.
• Pace yourself. Never eat faster or slower than your fellow diners.
• Remember that when you're not at the table, the chair should be. When leaving the table, always push your chair back to the table.
• Passing on the right. Pass food to the right.
• Butter your plate before your bread. Place butter on your bread plate and then spread it on your roll one bite at a time. When the roll is hot, you may open and butter it immediately.
• Modulate your voice. Be considerate of those around you by using your "manners voice."
• Say thank you write after. The person who paid for the meal should receive a thank you note immediately after.
• Start with a 15 percent tip. Excellent service and large tips go hand in hand. Start with a 15 percent tip and tip accordingly depending on the level of service.

Bonus tip. Never use a toothpick or chewing gum in public.

DO NOT

• Chew and speak. Others shouldn't have to see you talk with a full mouth.
• Reach in front. It's bad form to reach across the table, sticking an armpit in someone's face. Politely ask to have a dish passed to you.
• Eat first. Wait until everyone has been served or the guest of honor takes the first bite.
• Cut up all your food. Only children have their meals cut into bite size pieces; as an adult, you cut and chew one bite at a time.
• Row your plate. Don't replace your utensils on the table or hang the knife and fork off your plate like paddles on a rowboat. Place your knife and fork in the resting position on the plate.
• Pass poorly. Always pass the salt and pepper together, never with your hands on the top of the containers.
• Chomp into a bread roll. Never eat a roll as you eat an apple; you want to tear off and butter one bite at a time.
• Pilfer. To avoid accidentally eating your neighbor's salad or drinking her water, think BMW: Bread to the left, Meal in the center, and Water to the right.
• Groom at the table. Never apply lipstick or other makeup at the table. All personal grooming belongs in the restroom.
• Mistreat the servers. The diner who is rude to the waiter and other wait staff shows a complete lack of class.

The only thing to leave at any table—dining or boardroom—is a good impression. Master these basics of table etiquette and not only will you feel more confident, you help make the dining experience pleasant for everyone else, which, believe me, is smart business.

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