Love 2 min read

If A Man Is Interested, He Will Pursue You

A dating rule for women that should not be ignored.

God has built into a man a strong desire to be the initiator in relationships. That’s part of his manhood. He wants to seize the challenge.

The Bible says, “He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord” (Proverbs 18:22).  It does not say, “She who goes looking!”  A man loves the pursuit. Trust me. When he sees what he wants, he goes after it. If a man you adore is not pursuing you, he is not interested in you.

Let’s settle this once and for all. He is not shy. You do not intimidate him. He does not need your help. One of my brothers (who had a lot of experience dating) told me: “If a man is interested, no distance will stand in the way. But if he is not interested, you can live next door, and that’s too far for him to go.”

Now if you are determined to take the initiative, to approach a man with free tickets to a concert, Sunday dinner at your place, or access to your new sports car, and he takes you up on all of the offers, but he’s still not interested, then “W.I.I.F.M” is at play. (The same brother taught me this). W.I.I.F.M stands for: “What’s in it for me?”

In other words, he’s using you, and you are allowing him to do so. Does he only respond to your “freebies” and never suggests a date on his own where he pays? Do you call more than he does? Are you always the one planning the holiday get-togethers? Then face the facts: He is not interested!

I learned this rule the hard way. If only I had known what I know now: Men always pursue the women who catch their eye.

Cheryl Martin is the author of the books, 1st Class Single and Distinctly You. To learn more, visit,


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