Growth 4 min read

Sending Out A SOS

Get help asking for help.

Everybody needs a little help but asking for it can be difficult.

The element that holds us back from asking for assistance is fear. We worry that asking for help will reveal our shortcomings in a way that will lessen people’s opinion of us.

This concern ties directly into our fear of failure. We interpret lack of knowledge as defeat and worry that revealing our incomprehension to others will make us failures in their eyes as well. This gives us an excuse to avoid asking for help.

Another common fear that holds us back from asking for help is the possibility that it will be met with rejection. The likelihood of allowing a moment of vulnerability only to face rejection is far too scarey a scenario to risk, so we avoid asking for help. Because it holds the power to hurt us, we see the need to ask for help as weakness.

However, it’s strength that is shown from asking from help, not weakness.

As author Janine Garner states in her book “From Me To We,” asking for help not only gives us access to information we may not have had, it inspires the helpers to become more comfortable with asking for help.

Still, even knowing this, it can be a daunting task to rely on others for help so here are some tips to help with sending out a SOS.

1. Write it down.

In the beginning, it can be overwhelming just trying to figure out what you need help with. There may be several issues that jump out at us but more may come up when time is spent reflecting on what we really need.

Writing out our needs can help prioritize our concerns. Organizing the things that we need help with by prioritizing their importance gives us a starting point to work with. Identifying the most crucial concern gives us a target to overcome in the process of learning how to ask for help.

2. Know who to ask.

Once we have our needs prioritized, it’s time to figure out who to go to for help. Certain needs will require expertise, so assessing where help can be accessed will increase the likelihood of getting that assistance.

Knowing a person’s personality also helps in figuring out who to utilize. Someone with an open and helpful attitude will be more apt to offer their assistance than a more closed off individual.

3. Don’t let a “No” stand in your way.

No one likes rejection. Fear of rejection can stop us in our tracks but the word “No” doesn’t have to equal “The End.”When we get a “No,” turn it into a “Now What?” and work to get to the other side of the fear by changing the plan by getting what we need somewhere else.  

Progress can still be ours if only we resolve to pursue it.

Learning to accept help is a process that takes time and courage in order to move past the initial doubts but knowing how to ask for help is the perfect place to begin the growth.

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